Loneliness in motherhood

There were moments early on where I felt lonely in a way I hadn't expected.

Not because I was alone — I wasn't.

But because everything had shifted so quickly, and I wasn't quite sure where I fit within it all.

I was the first in my group of friends to have a baby. And as much as they loved me, there was a quiet gap that opened up that I didn't know how to name. I still belonged to them, but I didn't quite belong there anymore. Not in the way I had before.

My days were full, but they were also very quiet.

I was constantly needed, but not always seen in the way I had been before. And that felt unfamiliar. No one had really explained that part — how your world can become smaller overnight, while everything you're holding feels bigger than ever.