When I was pregnant with my first baby, I thought maternity leave was going to feel like this dreamy little pause from real life.

Slow mornings. No alarms. Staying in pyjamas all day. Watching TV while the baby slept peacefully beside me. Coffee runs. Day naps. Bliss.

And honestly? Some moments were like that.

But I also quickly realised there were so many things I hadn’t prepared for — not because I was unprepared, but because no one really tells you about them.

You prepare the nursery. The clothes. The bottles. The hospital bag.

But no one prepares you for standing in a shopping centre car park with a 10-day-old baby, crying because you can’t get the capsule onto the pram.

I genuinely put the capsule on backwards.

I’d never practiced it before because I just assumed I’d figure it out when the baby arrived.

Same with breastfeeding. I assumed it would happen naturally, so I never even thought about what my backup plan would be if it didn’t.

You learn very quickly that there’s a difference between preparing for a baby and preparing for life with one.

These are the things I wish I’d thought about earlier.

Getting out of the house

This sounds small until you’re trying to navigate it sleep deprived with a screaming baby.

Can your pram actually fit inside your local coffee shop?

Can you walk to your local supermarket and how many bag's of shopping can your pram fit?

Do you have somewhere within walking distance for the days loading the car feels impossible?

Have you practiced using your baby carrier before you’re trying to figure it out with a crying newborn in your lap?

I hadn’t.

And if you live somewhere cold or rainy like I do, buy the weather cover for the pram before you need it — not during the first downpour.

Sleep expectations

One thing I wish someone told me earlier:

You probably won’t sleep when the baby sleeps.

But you can rest.

And rest doesn’t always have to mean sleeping.

Sometimes it looks like sitting on the couch scrolling your phone. Watching a comfort show. Drinking a hot tea. Reading a book. Playing a game. Just sitting quietly for five minutes.

Taking the pressure off myself to constantly “make the most” of nap time helped me so much mentally.

Food support matters more than you think

We actually prepared quite a lot of freezer meals before the baby came.

It still wasn’t enough.

We had a challenging baby, we were exhausted, and eventually even heating food felt like effort.

We used meal delivery services like Dinner Ladies and honestly, it was one of the best investments we made during that season.

If you have family or friends offering help — let them cook.

And if you don’t have that support nearby, paid help is absolutely worth considering if it’s accessible to you.

Practice the car seat before the baby arrives

Putting a tiny newborn into a car seat for the first few weeks is terrifying.

Everything feels fragile.

I wish I’d practiced beforehand just to feel more confident with the straps and clips.

Use anything — a stuffed toy, a bag of flour, literally whatever helps you get familiar with it before there’s pressure and panic involved.

The lack of personal time

This one hit me the hardest.

No one can fully prepare you for how constant motherhood feels in the beginning.

The feeling of never fully switching off.
Not drinking a hot coffee.
Eating half your meals one handed.
Timing showers around naps.

And honestly, it’s okay if sometimes you think it sucks a little.

One of the best things I learned was to stop trying to do certain things alone if I didn’t need to.

Have the everything shower when your partner is home.

Do not attempt hair washing solo unless absolutely necessary.

Even if the baby is perfectly happy, you’ll hear phantom cries the entire time and spend the shower jumping in and out checking on them.

Find your walks

Some days the only thing that helped was getting outside.

There were days where the pram was the only thing that settled the baby.
Days where I needed fresh air for my own mental health.
Days where we walked purely to fill time between naps.

Finding a few easy neighbourhood walks ahead of time helped more than I expected.

Not because it “fixed” anything — but because it gave me somewhere to go when the walls of the house started closing in.

Motherhood is beautiful, but the adjustment into it can also feel really overwhelming.

And I think more people deserve to hear that struggling with the transition doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

Sometimes it just means you’re learning an entirely new life while running on no sleep and cold coffee.